... And That's Why Music Matters

Music Matters - Kate Bush (23-3-10) from Music Matters on Vimeo.

R.I.P Alexander McQueen

I am so shocked and saddened at the death of Alexander McQueen. He was an absolute fashion legend whose shows combined all the best of fashion and theatre. There has never been anyone like him and there never will be. I always looked forward to his shows every year, and feel so sad that there wont be any more and that we probably didn’t even see the best of him. It was always a dream of mine to own an Alexander McQueen original, but for now I’ll have to make do with looking at pictures of the beautiful work he created and wearing my imitation scull scarf as a tribute. I hope where ever he is now he is at peace.

 

 

Vanity Fair Class Of 2010

I am just loving the new Vanity Fair Class Of 2010 cover shot by my favourite photographer Annie Leibovitz. So many brilliant young actresses including Rebecca Hall, Oscar nominee (!!!) Carey Mulligan, Abbie Cornish (whom I love, especially in Candy) and Mia Wasikowska (who was just amazing in In Treatment). Having looked through some of the spread I love the 1930's, ivy league/Hollywood studio theme, I can't wait to buy the magazine and have a closer look. Only thing that could have made it better...the inclusion of Zooey Deschanel!

Just Like A Pill

So this is the first post of the new year for me, for boring reasons which i won't go into. So far the year has been pretty busy, difficult, silly, dramatic, snowy, tiring, frustrating and confronting.

I've started some individual psychotherapy, which has been really tough, but i can see a little bit clearer now. I don't feel any better, but i can see how i can use the therapy to help me a little better. It wasn't until this week that I realised, the whole time i have been ill i thought i had to be strong to get better, but perhaps i need to be vulnerable, show how i really feel, let someone in enough to help.

I had a pretty manic New Year in our nations capital. I went to an Alice in Wonderland themed night at a night club in Covent Garden. It was a good laugh, but tough on my friends who were working through some pretty emotional issues that the drink didn't help to say the least! Anyways, it gave me a good excuse to don a pair of fluffy white rabbit years and a pocket watch!

Rachel, Evie & Ned are coming over to the UK for 2 weeks in February, and i am so excited. I miss them so much. California was such a happy time for me, and i can't wait to spend some time with my little niece again. I’m throwing Rachel & Evie a ladies tea party whilst they are here, I’m looking forward to planning it all and buying gorgeous napkins and cakes. I bought a really pretty dress off asos.com to wear as well :-)

I'm feeling like i really need to shake things up at the moment, like I’m re-creating myself. I want to buy some new clothes, get a new haircut, join a dance class and force myself to do some things I’d normally say no to.

Keep Santa Cruz Weird!

I'm not getting any better at this regular blogging!
I've been in the US now for almost 2 weeks, and i'm having an amazing time. Taking everything in and making the most of spending this precious time with my family. My "niece" Evie is the cutest little cupcake and i know i'm going to find leaving her Rachel next week really difficult. I can't wait for them to move back to the UK, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon.
I'm really loving Capitola & Santa Cruz, i can really understand why they are so happy here. It's so lovely and sunny and warm, the architecture is beautiful, lots of great shopping and restaurants, it seems like a really good quality of life. A lot more laid back than in England. It's made me think a lot more about maybe living abroad for a bit.


I've bought loads of gorgeous bits while i've been here (and feel very guilty!), my favourite is a t-shirt from Urban Outfitters with an Oscar Wilde quote which i love "We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars".

Rachel & I have bought bits to make bracelets for each other so we remember this time together & i've been collecting things to go in my photo album which i'm already looking forward to putting together when i get back.

Adventure is out there!

Well tonight is my last night in my own bed for 3 weeks. Feel really sad at the moment, i find it really hard to think of things i'm gaining, just of things i'm saying goodbye to, My Dad, Jeffery, Ralph, all my own things, my books, my films, my jewellery, i suppose they are all just shields to hide behind. For me, packing for a trip is like when people say "what would you take if your house was on fire?", i've spent my whole life collecting all of this stuff around me, it's hard to know what's important. I suppose none of it is really.
Had a really lovely day with my Dad today, we went to see "UP" at the cinema, so i feel pretty sad about not seeing him for a while. I know it may seem really silly to some people, but when you're going through what i've been going through for the past four years you develop a support, a way of coping. My family and friends have been key to that, and this trip is going to be a real test for me. Went out with Sari & Charlie on Tuesday night to the Piano Bar for Bon Voyage cocktails. Sari is leaving for 3 months in South America next month, and Charlie is going to stay with her for New Year. It was a really nice way of saying "See Ya Later".

Last week i ordered two t-shirts from Every Little Counts (http://www.everylittlecounts.net/) to be delivered to Rachel's house in Capitola, so i'm really looking forward to receiving them. Wish i could have ordered more, i really love their clothes.

 

Right, i had better get back to packing, Jeff is trying to climb into my suit case, and they way i'm feeling i might just let her!

"I don't ever remember feeling this awake"

I haven't written in a long time cause i've been ill, first with the flu and then a cold. Today is the first day of feeling better, and although i'm still pretty poorly i can't stop smiling because it feels so good to feel better! I had an amazing time in Brighton with Arianne. Bat For Lashes were amazing, Natasha Kahn was so cute, i could have just put her in a little box and taken her home. Her voice was really incredible, i was blown away.
Unfortunately i still haven't worked out how to use my new camera, so my photo's were pretty shoddy.

After the gig we rang my brother, and met up with him and his mates for a few drinks before heading upstairs to a brilliant club that played amazing music like Blondie and The Cure, as well as Blur and more current stuff. Arianne and i had so much fun, but a bit too much to drink! Met a really nice guy as well, which was fun. Got a cute picture of me and my intoxicated sibling!

Felt so hung-over in the morning, but Arianne was bright as a button! So unfair! Managed to spend a lovely day shopping, although i had to stop frequently for caffeine and to reply to texts from guy from previous night. Got the train home in the evening but got stranded at Gatwick Airport for an hour, so we spent too much time giggling like school girls at people trying to get baggage trolleys on the escalators - so naughty! Brilliant weekend.

Haven't really been up to much else, went for a drink with some of the guys from my therapy group which was nice, it's good to have people who can relate, we feel like a real little team. Fell in love with a hooded cardigan from Gap's body range that feels amazing, so mum bought it for me to cheer me up (i'm so spoilt!)it's now my writing jumper for wearing over pretty knee high bed socks and grey pants whilst i write in my journal before bed. Countdown down till California trip - 9 Days - Scary!